Wow, where do I even begin? how can I express what is in my heart? My emotions are a mess, I feel sick, I can't eat~~I just tried to drink a cup of coffee tonight, took two sips and dumped it out! and I am NOT even the one who just had her world change!!!
~~So let me give you our day! after a LONG night, no sleep~~we were like 2 little school girls chatting about cute boys:) we woke up and the minutes seemed to be like weeks...we watched the clock and it wasn't moving!! Life was in a stand still, and again I think, I am not the one who's world is changing...and i was emotionally a MESS. I could see inside Aubz was not letting on her inner freaking out! She was giddy and I could tell she was READY:)
Dionne came to pick us up at the RMH, it was nicer then riding that shuttle...but it felt like again, the last ride of silence for my girl! We got there and there was a awesome~~wonderful couple in the waiting room who long story short adopted a beautiful special needs little boy...and his challenges were nothing compared to ours. Watching that little boy smile and play peek a boo with me what such a amazing feeling. He was so full of life and such a happy little man! He made the time go by much faster!!! Finally our name was called...we walked back and we were in the room, Aubrey" "kit" was on the table ( which i called my special FED undercover case) cause it was very slick! Dionne, our mentor from AB ( even though we choose another brand, she and her family supported us all the way! Dionne has been there from DAY one, back when we were planning surgery~~never left our side!! THANKS DIONNE...you guys are AWESOME!!!
~~So where was i, see my mind is totally in a cloud! OH, so they went to turn her on and she was just going to hear the beeps, and that threw me over the edge...I was in tears already...Dionne was a mess as well, she was reminiscing over her sons activation and their journey~~WOW, such a powerful time~~ So lost myself again...uhm, we called dad and had him on speaker phone...he was in our hearts, but was back in Montana, so we called and had him apart of activation day too!! This appointment took took hours, and at one point I was about ready to pass out, I felt like a sweaty mess...I look over and Aubrey has a HUGE smile on her face! She was sitting up straight and had a grin from ear to ear! The computer was hooked up and we were ready~~Jennifer was awesome she was counting on her fingers so Aubrey could be totally aware of life! The two hours was honestly a blur, i remember her plugging in her IPOD and that I was told was amazing, usually people wait for a few months, because music is a whole different story. It is NOT the same as hearing aids or just her ears! here it had been an hour and she was plugging in her tunes, she picked a familiar song and she HEARD it, the smile on her face was freaking AMAZING, nothing could have been better. Then our voices, Daddy says on speaker phone, I LOVE YOU AUBZ, she turns and says I love you to dad~~the flood of emotions washed over me...she was calm~~cool and very collected> I don't know how she was doing it cause i certainly was not holding back any emotions!
As our appointment ended Jennifer did share with us how amazed she was at the volume she was at with Aubrey's implant, NEVER in all her implants has she ever started a activation this loud! Aubrey is ready to hear! This was AWESOME news. I knew truly that this kid was ready to shine, she was ready to hear she was ready to get on with life...she was born ready! She is going to make this journey distinctly different~~Because of her desire and her passion!!
~~~ some conversation she has heard....
We were sitting in our room at RMH and she was on my bed...and Kay (a fellow RMH friend) was sitting by the window...it was about 6 feet?? Kay was looking out the window (the shuttle was letting someone off) and Kay was letting us know who it was....we were of course being nosey:) and she says "ohh, it's that blonde woman....mind you aubz is sitting on my bed, looking at her IPOD....not looking at all towards the window or Kay's direction and her little head pops up and says....what blonde woman, what blonde woman mom are you guys talking about!!!
~~~ Then tonight at dinner, she was being a typical teen she was down eating first...mind you we are in the second floor kitchen of the Ronald McDonald house, lots of people, lots of noise, lots of talking....commotion everywhere! and she got up walked away from the table...I was now behind her still sitting trying to eat dinner...and she was o, about 8 feet away I say....AUBZ she turns and says what?? I say "just checking, i love you"
wow, a amazing day, i have so much to be thankful for...First and Foremost! a little bird who told me about Denver...We would have never known the AMAZING loving compassionate people...Jennifer our audiologist, Stephanie the support....and Dionne, they wonderful woman have made a MASSIVE impact on our life and made footprints on our hearts forever! Children's hospital, Dr. Yoon who did a AMAZING job, such a TINY scar...which to a girl is so important, she barley had to take off much hair. This process is exactly how i want it...Yes, bumps and hiccups are to be expected~~Our friends and family back home in Montana...Seattle..Massachuttes...I feel so honored! Thank you for being with us....all the texts and emails and calls...my friends helped me get through this time without having Frank right here with me!
My mind is still in a cloud, but we will add the video of activation as soon as we figure it out....or once we get home and at my computer...and this blog will not stop, it is a beginning to Aubrey's life....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AUBZ. A special side note, today is a day of tears and heartache for a best friend of mine...her daughter, Destiny passed away 9 years ago today...I cannot say i understand your heart, but today will be two special girls day always and forever from today on....I LOVE YOU JESS
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